Understanding & Embracing Your Core Values
Pardon the intrusion, but what does your pantry look like? If it’s anything like mine, it’s in need of some attention. There are some products I go through and replenish quickly, but I have to admit, there are some tins lurking toward the back that have been there for years. Not to mention, there are all the random trendy things like fancy flax seeds and raspberry vinaigrette that I’m never going to use, but I bought in a moment of weakness.
It may sound strange, but your value system is a lot like that struggling pantry. Embracing your core values means regularly assessing and updating them, just as you would with pantry items. Your values guide and shape your priorities, and when your actions align with them, life is generally great. The problem is, values are hardly infallible. They’re the product of your upbringing, environment, and past experiences. And all too often, people hang on to negative values, which hinder their ability to progress.
It might be time to toss out some of the unhelpful and negative beliefs buried at the back of your pantry. The process of understanding and embracing your core values involves asking difficult questions and challenging your beliefs to uncover the harmful ones that have been holding you back in life.
Take Inventory of Your Values
The first step of cleaning out your value pantry is simple—take stock of what’s in it. I know what you’re thinking: “That’s all very well and good, but how on earth are you supposed to identify your core values?” Well, I’m sure you value trust, loyalty, peace, generosity, honesty, growth, empathy, truthfulness, efficiency, and things similar to those. Most people do. But there are some unexpected values hiding in the back of the cupboard, I promise.
To really get to the bottom of what you value in life, you have to get real with yourself and stop viewing yourself through rose-tinted glasses. When it comes to personal self-evaluation, even the most insecure and self-deprecating person prefers to view themselves in an overly idealistic way. Most people regard themselves as kinder, friendlier, more generous, and more supportive than they really are. This means that most people tend to claim values they know they should have rather than those they actually do.
An effective approach to uncovering your values is to write down all the highlights of your life, good and bad, which taught you something. You may have witnessed something you agreed or disagreed with, accomplished something which fulfilled you, or been through something which evoked an unexpected response from you. You can dissect these moments to identify the values hidden inside them.
Start Sorting Out Your Values
Once you have a list of values, it’s time to narrow them down. Start by tossing the expired, rotten values straight into the bin. These might include ideas you unconsciously developed in childhood that no longer fit with your current worldview, like “money matters more than honesty” or “everyone’s an island.”
However, even if you only have a list of positive values, you will still need to prune. When you have too many values, life can become overwhelming and mentally exhausting. Embracing your core values means limiting their number and striving to fulfill a select few to the best of your abilities.
For many people, this process can be exceptionally difficult. After all, most values are arguably important to some degree, so choosing to discard and dismiss some in favor of others can feel daunting. If you find yourself with lots of related or very similar values, try to find one word that best describes them all, then cull the ones that aren’t as crucial.
The best approach to differentiating between casual values and core ones is to ask yourself which values genuinely represent who you are and support the person you want to become. Embracing your core values involves focusing on those that truly matter. The rest are just accessories to your sense of being—like fashionable flax seeds and raspberry vinaigrettes. They seemed right at the time, but that time has long passed.
Challenge yourself to list between five and ten core values. These core values are the ones you will carry through your life and demonstrate through your daily actions. Therefore, it’s crucial to formulate a list that supports both your strengths and weaknesses. These are your nourishing, go-to pantry staples, essential for sustaining a balanced and fulfilling life.
Remember, embracing your values isn’t a one-time task but an ongoing journey. As you grow and evolve, periodically reassess your values to ensure they still align with your priorities. This continuous refinement will help you live authentically and purposefully, grounded in what matters most to you.
Put Everything Back in Order
Now, you have your list of five to ten core values. Challenge yourself to implement and act upon them for thirty days. By the end of thirty days, return to your list and evaluate your progress and values. Ask yourself which ones came naturally, which ones felt misplaced, and which ones were too difficult. Were there values you excluded from your list which you missed and would like to implement onto your list, or were there values which didn’t feel right and you’d like to remove and replace?
Over the next few weeks, keep working on your core values by taking the time to consciously act in accordance with them, and spend time evaluating how you feel at the end of the day or week. It’s important that you make decisions in accordance with your true values, so any feelings of misalignment, inauthenticity, or emptiness need to be addressed through the evaluation of your core values.
I recommend working on a list of values for at least a month before making any major changes to your list (unless you recognise very early on in your self-examination that one of your values is grossly inappropriate for who you’re trying to become). You can always shift things around in your pantry, but the goal is to find the best arrangement possible. You never want to end up with forgotten, expired goods again.
This is a process of trial and error, so give yourself the time to learn, adjust, and amend when necessary. Once you’ve formulated a successful list of values, cement it and carry it consciously throughout every priority decision you face in life.
Clean Out Your Pantry on a Regular Basis
Grounded and well-organized adults regularly clear out their “value pantries.” They possess the self-awareness to recognize that not everything in their value system will last forever. Understanding this, they are committed to the ongoing process of reassessment and renewal, ensuring that their values remain relevant and true to who they are.
These individuals acknowledge that there is no one “right” way to live. They understand that simply inheriting and mimicking the values their parents instilled in them can lead to a stale, old, and inauthentic existence. Instead, they strive to cultivate a value system that resonates with their unique experiences and aspirations.
Your values need regular replenishing, updating, and discarding as necessary. This process keeps your value pantry fresh and aligned with your evolving self. By becoming intimately familiar with the contents and usefulness of your value pantry, you can navigate life more confidently and effectively.
When you take the time to evaluate your core beliefs and principles, you create space for growth and transformation. You allow yourself to discard outdated or inherited values that no longer serve you, making room for new values that reflect your current priorities and goals. This proactive approach leads to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Moreover, staying attuned to your values fosters inner peace and productivity. When you are clear about what truly matters to you, decision-making becomes easier, and actions become more purposeful. You are less likely to be swayed by external pressures or societal expectations because your direction is guided by a well-curated set of personal values.
So, take a moment to examine your value pantry. Identify what needs to be updated, replenished, or discarded. Embrace the continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. By doing so, you will cultivate a life that is not only productive but also deeply aligned with who you are and who you aspire to be.
