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Kain Ramsay

The Foundations of Achological Practice

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As Achologists and helping practitioners, we all need a starting point. In this video I share what this starting point is, which is less to do with skills, processes and abilities and more to do with the attitude that we take towards those people that we serve. Please join in the discussion below!

 

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Great starting point Kain, If we were all to conduct ourselves in this way within Achology and live by these standards the community will be a very healthy and thriving place to be.

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At the heart of empathic communications, the presupposition for successfully achieved "connectedness": preserve, manage and build-up trust!

When we finally "get it" that we are part of the whole, that what we send out into the world comes back to us, when our interest in others and their well-being is as important to us as our own ...

That is what we, as individuals can do, to create something as close to "paradise on earth" as possible. This may be a never-ending journey, but it bears endless opportunities :) !

 

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Thanks for the great feedback ya’ll, and it’s so awesome how you guys have grasped the Achology vision so quickly!! ??

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UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE

The first, and also the most difficult to grasp! For me anyway.

 

When younger, I used to prioritize anybody over me. Boundaries were a big lesson for me: to respect my own, and to make others respect mine. I might have even respected other peoples' (perceived) boundaries a little bit too much.

 

These days, I am much better at it. But it still is a... shall we say tender? subject.

 

Still learning and developing in this direction. ?

 

So far, I take 'unconditional acceptance' as being openminded to all I come across. Untill they act or speak in such a way that is not in my interest, is hurtful or not according to my values. And still, I won't take it personal, it is often just that both our goals are not aligned. So I retreave, not lash out. Maybe ask some questions about why or if there is another way. But not too much of that, no drama!

 

Q - What is your point of view regarding unconditional acceptance? How does it work for you?

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Hi Miriam, my thoughts.

 

Regarding unconditional acceptance, this is on the first evaluation of a client or new acquaintance, your correct that this is only required until others prove they are not suitable for this.

 

It then becomes a question of whether the person is an asset or liability, and appropriate action is taken. Even with a client, this would be necessary

 

An adverse client could very well prove damaging in the future

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Hi Gary,

I hadn't thought of it that way: that a person could be an asset or a liability. If we are stable in our own self and able to let others "just be" , then we aren't judging them upon what they bring to us , but rather just accepting that they "are". That, for me, is unconditional acceptance. I may not be able to work with a particular client, and even with someone else regardless of their relationship to me, but that does still leave room for me to accept that they are they and I am I.

Pondering over this, because it fits to a Situation in my life right now. I can choose to just let that other person be "the other person". That is what "unconditional acceptance" means to me.

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Unconditional acceptance can be hard I agree Mirjam and I agree with Debby, just letting them be... I too am in that situation now... and for me I choose to let them "just be" I accept who that person is "as is" I am who I am " as is"... and I leave myself open to understand them and that where they come from is not the same as me...

Its a practice ....and the Beatles song " Let It Be"... often plays in my head ...because sometimes it is not easy ...

 

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I believe that unconditional acceptance applies both in relationships and situations. Whether we like or dislike how someone is behaving or how something is happening is really irrelevant. It is who they are, and it is what is happening despite our opinion of it. We are all just imperfect humans, living our imperfect lives, and doing our best in any given moment. Our task lies in the work of allowing it to be what it is, how it is, the way it is, right now, without injecting our desire that it be any different. Once we can discover that level of awareness and acceptance within ourselves, then the "unconditional" part comes into play naturally.  Easy? Hell no.  It is a practice. Daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute when we are in the midst of something that challenges us to rise above the garbage our minds try to tell us about what's happening.  And sometimes we fail. And it's ok.  There is no magic trick to it. Just keep practicing. As Barbara Chase stated, "Let It Be" is a good mantra to keep in mind while developing the ability to have this unconditional acceptance for others and whatever life throws at us. It is a practice I continue to work on, as well. So glad to be in a community like this where such thought is carefully considered and supported!

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👌Just imagine if everyone who joins this Achological movement over time took this on and started every session with a client with this in mind!

There will be a massive paradigm shift in the way the helping industry functions and the trust level in the helping industry will go through the roof.

Inspirational stuff Mr. Ramsay 

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