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David

Keeping you eyes in the present.

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I would like to share a question, that one of my students asked me today about help in a client to stay focused in the present.

How can we help someone, who is pretty focused in his past, to remain in the present and work here, in order to change his situation? The coach isn't there to tell the client what to do but more as a facilitator of change. So, how can be help such a person, without start giving the advice?

Look forward to your comments 😉

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Its a great question though it would help to know more about why the client is stuck in the past.  Perhaps an exploration of what in the past is holding their attention would open the way to move forward.  Are they stuck because of a fear, or label , or previous real or perceived failure?

Also focusing on action steps to move forward and being accountable for those might get the client moving forward.

 

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Great question David,

I would ask more empowering questions that will focus on the now and be going forward, for example

Qu1) What do you need that you feel is missing today?

Qu2) In what area of your life do you need a shift of perspective?

Qu3) What do you want more off in your life?

Qu4) What are the next practical steps to getting what you want for your life?

these questions will help move away from the past and focus more on the now and moving forward.😀

 

 

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Much like what Stevie and Mary said there are a couple ways of going about it... 

1. Find out what had them fixed on the past (dig deep and find the root cause) which then requires finding leverage to change that perspective into a more empowering one

2. Questioning them on what they want "today" and how it is they are going to achieve it.

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Oooo interesting question @David,

There could be some work to be done there with timelines, although I would probably start with bringing them to the present and coaching from there.

”If you could, what would you be grateful for in your life right now?”

This opens up the present nicely to then understand where they are now and keep their focus here.

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Perhaps a more didactic approach? 

“Agreed the past was xyz and agreed that it made you feel abc, how is holding on to it helping you? “

The answer is almost invariably on the lines of; no is it not helping me but I do not know how to let go... follow it up with

”Would you like to learn how to let past be in the past and work in the present?”

That is usually a good starting point. 

 

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Hi David

This is common with client with addiction/depression.

Early on in our sessions I suggest trying focused activities, ideally creative. The goal is to bring the client round to mindfulness. After they have found they can concentrate on the present, you should notice a gradual improvement and through mindfulness exercises gradually draw away from the past.

CBT tools can also be introduced alongside this as cognitive functioning helps them refocus.

It usually takes a few weeks to see any great change as the attention span needs to be increased within the focused areas. This means the client has to see that it's helping them. When this happens results appear a lot faster. 🤣

 

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