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Kain Ramsay

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Kain Ramsay last won the day on July 12

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377 Pathfinder Level 3

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    Life Coaching

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  1. Kain Ramsay

    How Active is your Listening?

    Most people consider themselves good listeners without understanding the important differences between hearing and listening. We are all typically born with the ability to hear, but the ability to listen is a different matter - it is a skill that is difficult to master and requires time and patience to develop. Listening is vital in developing and maintaining healthy relationships. When interacting with others, it can be very easy to get distracted. We are naturally prone to becoming pre-occupied by our own thoughts and emotions. If a person is talking to us, it's often all too easy to get distracted and not pay close attention to what the other person is saying. We may get distracted by what is going on around us, by whatever we're thinking about, or even by what we want to say next. This can become particularly damaging in relationships because important pieces of communication can be lost. Active listening requires our conscious effort to hear not only the words that the other person is saying but, more importantly, doing our best to understand the complete message they're attempting to communicate. So do you let information go in one ear and out the other, or are you a thoughtful, actively engaged listener?
  2. Kain Ramsay

    Starting Up Building a Business

    Me three .... my head moves 100 x faster than my fingers ... which unfortunately means that a few words end up getting left behind in the dust 😉
  3. Kain Ramsay

    Starting Up Building a Business

    @Sandi Dragoi- I love your comment "since I've escaped my own head ..." My friend, when you also become efficient in helping other people to do this (which I guarantee that you will), you'll join the leagues and stand alongside the most valuable people on this planet of ours 😉
  4. Kain Ramsay

    Rules! Read this before posting please

    We have a premium quality Achology toolkit which will be published through Achology as 'Resources' David, so it's entirely up to you.
  5. "The Ego is a substitute sense of Identity" - this is an excellent statement Jojo and I fully concur!! 😉
  6. Kain Ramsay

    Rules! Read this before posting please

    Patience will be needed here David, and yes, there are plenty of resources coming - and they will be available through one of the alternative membership levels which we'll be making available shortly. There won't be any need for alternative folders or drives yet ... Achology Resources will be available soon enough 😉
  7. Kain Ramsay

    What has Achology done well so far?

    Hmmm ... yes, my original post did read in a slightly negative tone - I've replaced 'complaints' with 'a few complimentary comments' 😉👍 Achology is pretty darned good - even I do say so myself! Julian, Neil and the Jellyhound Gang have certainly done an excellent job so far 😉
  8. So ... we officially launched the free version of Achology on Wednesday 11th July 2018, and in these early stages, we wanted to create a platform for those of you who want to engage in discussion thats more grounded, ordered and structured that what the Facebook page allowed us to have. I've already read a few complimentary comments, "Achology is addictive!", and "My gosh, I'm spending so much time in here!" - and we'll take these comments as confirmation that we've 'kind-of' done what we initially set out to do - which was build an international community of multi-disciplinary practitioners and multi-disciplinary practitioners in training. Whoop Whoop ... There's much going on behind the scenes that you'll not yet be aware of, and our goal is to nurture the largest and most vibrant network of helping professionals in the world who learn together, practice together and who ultimately compliment each other, Granted, in these early stages of development we're guaranteed to experience testing problems, however, we can all work together to ensure the long-term sustainability of our community here. Moving forward, many members will submit posts and publish comments that add no genuine value to man-nor-beast, so lets work together and NOT give reputation to posts that DO NOT aid the growth and development of our phenomenal online community. Lets work together to keep the self-promoters and attention seekers at bay, so that together, we become a credible international force to be reckoned with. If you see a post or a comment that isn't valuable and doesn't deserve a like ... DONT like it 😉👍 Other than this, I know we're completely imperfect in our ways and processes, but what has Achology done well so far???? The team and I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!
  9. This is a great post Cassian! I would suggest, that for starters, we become grounded in our understanding of the difference between 'identity' and 'personality'. Our identity is our constant in life. Who we are is who we have always been and who we will always be. Who we are is who we are in maturity and character. A huge mistake people make is defining themselves (their identity) by their personality traits - which, incidentally, is just the attitude we adopt towards ourselves, others and life in general, combined with how we act, behave and conduct ourselves publicly. There's often a huge incongruence between peoples public persona and their private one. When people become secure in their true identity, they tend to 'grow out of' the personality traits which they previously identified themselves with. This is the process of maturation, the process of growing up and out of the limiting self-beliefs and identity labels we associate ourselves with earlier on in life. Personality tends to be inconsistent because people grow and change. As were all each on our own life journey, the more insight we gain into who we are (and who we aren't), our personality changes resultantly. For example, when I was in school, I conducted myself in an introverted way. I didn't have confidence in myself, and I constantly sought approval and validation from my peers. Back then, my confidence (and my personality) was determined by how much or how little other people liked me. Today, things have changed. The day that I made peace with who I am was the same day that I no longer needed to define myself by personality traits. If, who I choose to be is authentic, then there is no personality trait I can subscribe to. Unfortunately, many people still need personality tests as a means by which to identify with a 'personality grouping'. As Achologists and multi-disciplinary practitioners, my hope is that together, we can help the world to see that our personality is not WHO WE ARE - it is just our personality. Perhaps, we can develop something BETTER than another personality test Cassian - maybe we can create a tool that'll enable our great members to define their core identities first, for the purpose of making appropriate modifications in their personality?? Just my tuppences worth 😉
  10. This is a great discussion folks! While counselling has developed into an excellent discipline over the years, building upon the ideologies and practices of many excellent men and women, there is certainly no one framework or core ideology that I would subscribe to. When I was going through my years of counselling study, I was required to undergo a succession of counselling sessions for the purpose of 'experiencing' the counselling process. I ended up working with a number of different counsellors, not for the purpose of gaining insight into any life situation I had at the time, but instead, to experience a range of different approaches and personality types - so that I could decide what kind of counseller I would become. My first experience was very psychodynamic by nature, where my counsellor guided me back to past hurts and traumatic events. In short, I ended up leaving these counselling sessions in a worse state than what I was in prior to entering them! My second experience was more person-centred and undirected, which one one level I did find insightful, however, not transformative or perspective shifting. My third experience was with a counseller from a different organisation, who integrated multiple frames of reference into her approach. She embodies many principles from all of the main schools of psychological thought, while provoking insight and forward focus at all times. This was where I gained an appreciation for the presupposition: the map is not the territory. Until this stage, I had never fully appreciate how limited we are when we fail to understand how our perception is just a snap-shot of reality. This was news for me, I had always believed that the way I saw things were the way things were. What I'm saying here, is that I fully endorse and encourage multi-disciplinary practice. Counselling skills are a phenomenal set of skills to develop competencies in, and goal setting, coaching, cognitive/behavioural practices can fully compliment (and even complete) our overall offerings.
  11. It's important to consider an alternative perspective here; People who believe they are sick will always find a way to justify and explain their sickness. Those who are grounded within themselves and whom have made peace with themselves reject sickness - even when it hurts. Bottom line, if emotions are illnesses, people will need medication are therapists until their commitment to modifying their lifestyle choices becomes greater than their desire to remain as they are. People who believe that emotions are 'illnesses to be cured' will forever remain disempowered to change, and trapped in a victim mindset until their desire to change over-rides their self-pity and desire to stay the same. If however, emotions are just emotions, then cause and effect principle comes into play. What goes up comes down, and we get out of life what we invest into it. At all times, people will be vested more into themselves and how they feel, or, they will be vested more into adding value into other peoples lives. I just had a thought about coffee and cake ... I have just bought a coffee and slice of cake. I just had a really violent thought ... I have not acted on it nor do I have any intentions to. Thoughts are powerless against a will that is strong. A weak will will forever be overpowered by sporadic thoughts and feelings. Yes, our thoughts influence how we feel, and the degree of this will be hugely determined by; what we believe about ourselves our degree of self-awareness and maturity what we believe about the world our belief in a deity that's fundamentally good (or otherwise) what we believe about our ability to grow and change what we believe about our capabilities, and what we believe about how in control of ourselves we can actually be While there's certainly no simple theory or scientific case study that explains our human experience, there are many which can help us to gain a deeper and far more profound understanding of ourselves. I've noticed a few comments of disagreement in this thread, I would urge sceptics to seek understanding of yourself first before embracing various labels or the countless 'conditions' that conventional general practitioners diagnose and prescribe for. Life is so much more than thoughts, ideas and labels.
  12. Kain Ramsay

    Psicotic people have good intentions?!

    The alternative response that could be given to this question is; Who specifically are you referring to?
  13. Kain Ramsay

    Psicotic people have good intentions?!

    The truth is, people who can claim to know the motives and intentions of other people are those who have already judged. In the same way that most people do not like being labeled and pre-judged by people, there's high probability that you don't like being treated in this way either. So, the essence of this presupposition can be simplified if you like; Treat other people in the same way that you yourself like to be treated. If you don't like having the worst assumed of you, and if you also don't like have limiting labels assigned unto you (such as psychotic), then do not assign judgement nor labels unto other people. Why not seek to understand people instead, as this guarantees that you will at least learn something. Humility and unconditional acceptance have a tendency to transform lives far more effectively than what judgements and assigning labels does. It's quite important that those who are taking 'helping' seriously, lose the generalisations, such as 'all the psychotic people in the world', or, 'all the murderers and bad people'. Who has ever been who to judge? Commit your endeavours to building people up, not tearing people down. Everyone in the world could benefit from some unconditional acceptance. Even the 'murderers and rapists'.
  14. Kain Ramsay

    The Coffee Lounge

    Oooooh .... did someone mention coffee????!!! 😀👍
  15. Kain Ramsay

    Show your business cards please!

    I stopped using business cards around 6-7 years ago, however, the last ones I had printed just had my logo, web link and personal contact details - I did try a batch of cards with the 'scan me' bar codes, however, they failed miserably!!