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Neil

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Neil last won the day on July 8

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    Life Coaching

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  1. Neil

    Psicotic people have good intentions?!

    @Soniacrafts I've been talking about something similar on this thread: An interesting topic which has generated some top responses.
  2. I thought I'd take this question from the other thread where it appeared and make a proper Q and A topic out of it: https://achology.com/community/topic/116-how-do-you-deal-with-bad-intentions/ So do you as coaches take sides? Is it necessary to build that bond, to create that "I'm on your side" feeling? Or as coaches is it a responsibility to be completely impartial? Also is it an act if you do take sides or do you connect in such a way with your subjects that you really are on their side?
  3. Neil

    How do you deal with bad intentions?

    Is it a basic human need to make more money. I'm talking hypothetically here to try and find a point where this all breaks down. The staff member isn't meeting a basic need as their basic needs are met, they have a job, they have clothes on their back, a place to stay and are comfortable. I have come across many people in business and personally who just want more and are willing to screw people to get it. You just have to look at politics to see a multitude of examples. I don't think people always come from good intentions or to meet a basic human need. Quite often they can come from a place of greed. I think my point here is you are coaching the Manager, not the staff member. How do they deal with it? Or maybe nobody is being coached here, just a manager trying to find a way to deal with their staff member. If coaching the staff member then we could get to the bottom of the greedy, I want I want attitude but the manager probably wont have the skills to do this, plus who says there is a reason and it can be solved. People can just be greedy for no real reason right? It's part of society these days.
  4. Neil

    The Coffee Lounge

    Tastes much nicer with brown sugar than white. White makes it too sweet. No idea if it's a European thing.
  5. Neil

    The Coffee Lounge

    Being a computer person I'm almost 90% coffee. Matthew Algie is my preferred brand. No sugar required with their coffees, although I normally like some brown sugar in other coffees. Comforting cup of tea is also nice.
  6. Hi Waldamar, your were our second signup! Welcome to the community.

    1. Waldamar

      Waldamar

      Thanks, glad to be here

  7. Neil

    How do you deal with bad intentions?

    Great input guys. To clarify I'm not coming from a coaching angle, more of the self-helpers angle. I've just been mulling over some of Kain's words from the course and as I like to do, over think, analyse and try and break them. So are you saying Debby that if this manager came to you with this issue of a coworker looking to usurp them and from your questions you found that they lacked self confidence and self worth, that you would then build on this so the manager could fight back? Is that too much like taking sides for a coach? Is taking sides necessarily bad? If it is bad, how do you as a coach stop yourself doing it.....perhaps this would be another good topic/video for someone to post on another thread and explain further.
  8. Neil

    How do you deal with bad intentions?

    Great answer Debby, especially the last paragraph. I've been trying to think of situations where you wise words might not work. So I thought of business and relationships within a company. Say you have a manager and one of their staff is angling for their job. Now this person could be doing all sorts to undermine and make the manager out to be incompetent just to get a better job. So applying you questions and finding this out doesn't help you as there will be no resolution until they get the managers job or the manager fights back and manipulates things to their advantage... I.e get them sacked. I think what I'm trying to get at is being faced with a human obstacle dead set on changing your world for the worst, how can that be dealt with without resorting to more devious tactics. Whats the resolution? I know what I'd do. But then again I think I'm quite mean. Can anyone else think of a better example than mine? It's just something I've been mulling over. It's not something that affects me at all but I like to push these principles (in my head) to the limit to see if they stand up in all scenarios.
  9. In Kain's life coaching course he discusses intentions and being mindful of your own emotions before reacting to something someone says or does. Assuming the other persons intentions are good then I have found this is relatively easy to achieve. But let's face it not everyone's intentions are good, even if they aren't an inherently "bad" person. People naturally manipulate situations to suit themselves not necessarily to best help the other person. How does everybody deal with these kinds of situations and people? Is the only way to confront, discuss, accept and forgive? I think I often struggle with the latter especially if there is no remorse for the hurt or negative impact on your life.
  10. I think this is bang on. If you talk to someone like a friend and show genuine interest in them and what's being said thena lot more comes out in the conversation. Although I don't feel all the above questions necessarily fit into a small talk category, they are all good ones!
  11. Neil

    Community Release

    It's going to be good. Can't wait to see some great conversations happening on these rather splendid forums!
  12. Neil

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