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Debby Spaltmann

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Debby Spaltmann last won the day on July 9

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  • Areas of Training
    Life Coaching
    CBT
    NLP
    Counselling
    Hypnotherapy
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    Business Communications

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  1. Debby Spaltmann

    Letters....behind the name...

    One thing I learned in my formal college education (yep! I have a degree - albeit in Marketing) was from a professor in the additional course I took in Public Relations - and it has stuck with me FOREVER! And that was: use critical thinking! Don't accept anything anyone says - regardless of who it is coming from - at face value. Always question it - in terms of what you think you want to believe, how it fits with other information you have, or be prepared and go get other information on that topic, so you can even be in a position to make an informed decision - or at least have a well-informed overview of the topic. Critical thinking , he said, is the one most important things we, as responsible human beings in an informed society, can use for the benefit of ourselves as well as for society. And I try to practice that.
  2. Debby Spaltmann

    The 3 C's Of Coaching

    Yes! Yes! Yes! Staying curious means we are focusing on the client - not on ourselves. Excellent addition to the "C"s! 🙂
  3. Debby Spaltmann

    Psicotic people have good intentions?!

    Another thing, to add to Kain's response (which is brilliant btw - although that is to be expected 🙂 ), is this: you cannot help someone who does not want to "be helped". The client drives the "helping". Sometimes, in the course of coaching, we can help a client to identify the problem behind their perceived problem, or the goal behind their stated goal. But only if they come to us - we can't assist a change in people who don't want help to change themselves.
  4. Debby Spaltmann

    Letters....behind the name...

    @Gary J Stearman: ABSOLUTELY! Respect! That is the key word!!! Which includes not being judgmental 🙂
  5. Debby Spaltmann

    Letters....behind the name...

    Good question! "Letters behind the name" is something that comes from conditioning - and a general acceptance within society that it (these "Letters") means something is of value. Whereby, if I am totally candid here, I appreciate the "Letters behind the name". Not so much for what the letters say in itself, but rather, because it shows (generally 🙂 ) that the person who has these letters behind their name, have worked for this achievement: they've done the work, they've stuck it out and they've gone through all the hoops of being tested and measured and evaluated by those that are (supposedly) more experienced and more knowledgeable on the subject. There are some fabulous examples of people who did not have letters behind their name: Bill Gates, for example, never finished his Bachelors Degree at the university. But what would the world be like today, if he hadn't founded Microsoft? On the other hand, he received "Honorable Doctorate" degrees from at least one university, if I remember correctly. What I'm trying to say is this: the letters don't necessarily show you are experienced in a field, but it does designate that you completed the work and were tested/evaluated on it - and you were deemed good enough in the requirements that were set to achieve those qualifications, to get those "letters". A good friend of mine had a degree in Child Psychology - but she never worked in the field. Nevertheless, these studies made it possible for her to be a good manager in an administrative field - and she was promoted over those that did not have such a degree - even though it was a totally unrelated field in which she worked (she managed a team of folks that were responsible for the business and partnership accounts of a large, international car rental company). In one of the on-site training seminars that I had to take for my coaching certification, I coached a doctorate of psychology. At first, it was very strange for me - I thought I was a "fake" (imposter syndrome) - but he and I worked very well together. He even mentioned how well it went, in the summary get-together after the end of the seminar. He was there, though, for a reason: although he had been a practicing psychologist for over 30 years, he did not have the coaching tools under his belt, to do coaching. So there is a big difference and it is a valuable difference. The problems only arise, when Coaches think they are Psychologists. As coaches, we use a lot of tools that have come from psychological studies, and we are able to use them for the benefit of those folks that are in need of them. Yet we must always remain mindful, that applying these tools is to help someone move forward towards goals, and not to "fix" something that is so deeply ingrained in their personality, that we cause more harm than good. The key here is to discern between what we, as coaches, can do - and what not. A good indication of where the line should be drawn, is when something that is affecting their mental health, has physical affects. An example: overweight. As a coach you could use CBT tools to have an impact on any compulsive eating habits, but it would be wise to do so, only after a physician has diagnosed if the client is well (no diabetes or other illness). The psychological field is wary of coaches - because there are a lot out there that are meddling in their business. I would be too, if I were them. I feel that way about people who claim to be marketing gurus, when all they've done is a course on marketing in the Internet ... But I've also known some, that studied marketing and were never able to get their own business off the ground. It works both ways. If've you've read this far: Thank-you! We can't put letters after our name when we complete a Udemy course, but we can put the certificate on the wall and proudly display it. We can prove our tenacity that way - and we can build up upon what we've learned through practicing the profession. You can build up a reputation without the letters, but granted, it is more difficult to "get your foot in door" that way. (One important thing to watch out for, is liability in these cases. If you've got the letters, it is easier to get the insurance and into professional associations. But that is the goal here, in Achology, as well. That the people practicing here are putting themselves "out there", and, as such, are getting peer reviews -through the points system . Achology is - and will be - transforming the coaching business. No where else in the profession, that I know of at least, are coaching practitioners making their learnings so transparent and so open to discussion and peer review. That, in itself, is mind-blowing.
  6. Debby Spaltmann

    Triads Explained

    I just watched this - since we made this, I hadn't look at it again. It is a great conversation and I think we really covered the Triad topic very well! High Fives to my colleagues @Margaret Doxey, @Misty Flanagan and @Stevie Mills!
  7. Debby Spaltmann

    How To Set Up Your Achology Profile

    Fabulous video! Thanks a lot for this!
  8. Debby Spaltmann

    Are You Embracing Neuromarketing?

    Count me in! 😀
  9. Debby Spaltmann

    How do you deal with bad intentions?

    Hi, There's a reason why "Why" is not the best question: because it gives people wiggle room to justify themselves - instead of thinking about what the motivation was for their behavior. When we, as coaches as "why" questions (not always, for sure! But we have to mindful of this when we ask the "why" question), we aren't looking for a solution, rather for a reason. And with "what" and "how" type questions, we put the focus on alternatives. Semantics, in a sense, because "what was your reason for doing this..." is actually almost the same as asking "why" - only it moves the client into a meta position instead of an internalized position. They give reasons - but not justifications. Hope this explains why I left out the "why" in my original post 🙂
  10. Debby Spaltmann

    An Intro to Masterminding: Mastermind Groups

    Thanks, Folks, for watching and for your feedback! Mastermind Groups are something really special: it is a bit like promoting "KaiZen" - change for the better - with like-minded and equally disciplined and ambitious people. And that is actually the only crux of a MMG: getting the right people with the right mindset and the proper discipline to be a part of the Mastermind. But when you have that team together, magic happens! I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of MMGs get started here - and it will be even more enticing to watch how those MMG rocket ships take off! 🙂 3-2-1 .... Take-off!!
  11. Debby Spaltmann

    Accountibility

    You bet, Kain !
  12. Debby Spaltmann

    Holding on

    Very timely post for me Margaret, as I am going through grief right now, of loved ones that I "lost". I found out on Thursday that a good friend of mine died of a sudden heart attack, we have memories that go back to over 30 years ... and on Friday morning at 6 am, I got a call that my horse was colicking and suffering, and in terrible pain. I had to have her put to sleep. She had been a part of our family for more than 25 years. I helped her babies be born - and she caused me pain and anger and she also gave a lot of love - and she taught me a thing or two about "caring" about being mindful of the present moment, and being aware of what was going on in me at any given moment ... and she was the epitomy of confidence. She taught me a lot - as strange as it sounds. When I spoke of her, I used to say "she is only a horse, but she has more self-confidence than any person I have met." So this weekend I was filled with "the past" and "the good and not-so-good" memories. And I got sentimental and I cried - a lot - and then I picked myself back up and did busy-work-stuff to distract myself. But I will confess to this: all this time, all I wanted was to feel was "alive". And while I was doing busy-work-stuff, I realized that a lot of the stuff I was moving back and forth, stuff that I have had here in my house for ages - is useless - that it is replaceable. These living beings that I "lost" are not replaceable for me. And now they are gone. I will never see them again, never speak to or with them again, never hug them again, never again feel the warmth of their body. And then I did something that I have never done before: I deleted my entire mailbox - all 5000+ emails that were on the server. Albeit it was by accident, but when I did that, instead of worrying about the ones I hadn't filed or saved (i.e. from Julian and the team here, with my login to Achology; or from my customers, or from friends living in foreign countries all over the world --- not just the spam stuff), I thought to myself: this is saving me soooo much time! I don't have to worry about "do I want to save it and if so, where to save it?" ... it was like a huge relief to not have to worry about making any decisions on that stuff anymore. It was gone - that's that. We come into this world with nothing - and we leave with nothing. The only things we really ever "have" are the people in our lives and the relationships to those people. I will be doing a lot of purging of stuff here in my house in the coming weeks. In spite of the grief - or maybe because of it - I was set free from the physical/material world that I felt I had to hold on to. The thoughts I've had these past few days have brought me new insights into what I value and why I value it. That is an awesome and the most powerful "ah ha!" I have ever had to recognize.
  13. Debby Spaltmann

    What is your niche, and how did you find it?

    My niche is actually still developing. I started off with the goal/objective to support people in business - because I've "been there, done that" and it was helluva ride. In the meantime I finding that people who need help, are often times the ones who don't even know where to find help. So I guess I am focusing more now, on how to help those folks find the folks that can help them move along. Like I said - this is still something I am pondering over and it's still a ways away from being clear in my mind ....
  14. Debby Spaltmann

    Limitations

    Oh the limitations we put upon ourselves! Those are the hardest. It is so much easier to say "I can't do/say/be/... because xyz said/expected/wanted/..." Accepting limitations is like giving up the god-given power you were born with. If only we could all get that into our heads (me included)!
  15. Debby Spaltmann

    The Compassionate Mind

    Compassion hurts. It makes me vulnerable. I need to read that book, because I am finding that "compassion" allows too much pain "to come inside" of me. Compassion includes the word "passion" - meaning: "it means a lot of me". Are there levels of "compassion"? Can you measure it? Why would you even want to measure it? Can you turn compassion on and off? Are you born with it / without it? Is is learned? Can you teach it? Philosophy has discussed this at length - I guess I need to go back and reread Schopenhauer...
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